"Vampire Master" (Season 1, Episode 19)

[Contributed by Chris Hadgis (chrish@mincom.com)]


One night, the three disciples argue about what keeps Heaven and the earth separated.

Tripitaka wants to go to a place where buddhism is the state religion - the Kingdom of Buddha's Law. Pigsy runs ahead and is met by men wielding swords. He tells them he is a buddhist and they attack him. Another man and his guards ride up and try to arrest Monkey. Monkey wants to fight them, but Tripitaka forbids it. The man is the Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Buddha's Law and recognises Tripitaka. The pilgrims are taken to the king's palace.

In this land, they don't know how to deal with wickedness. In the mountains to the west there are black magicians. They are aided by bandits. Monkey suggests they fight, but Buddha's law prevents it. Pigsy is thinking about his stomach again and is admonished by Sandy. The King and Queen enter. The King wants Tripitaka to stay and teach them. He asks Lord Chin if the banquet is ready, which pleases Pigsy.

After a state reception, the pilgrims retire to the Prime Minister's residence. Pigsy is almost full. The others are ashamed of him. He is offered an apperitif and accepts. The Prime Minister's daughter, Shan-Lan is at their service. The disciples are happy because she is pretty. Tripitaka is upset with them. He wants to show them a buddhist land and all they think about is pleasure. Tripitaka says they will be leaving in the morning.

The disciples are awake but no-one has seen Tripitaka.

Monkey: "Even Buddha, he's a killjoy"

He has a bad fever. The doctors try to help him. They aren't sure what is wrong but they think it is Tibetan fever. Tripitaka lays unconscious as Shan-Lan tends to him.

Early the next morning, a girl is murdered. When Monkey looks in on Tripitaka, he seems to be improving. Monkey notices a blood-stain on Tripitaka's clothes near his neck. It is said the girl was killed by a vampire. The Prime Minister doesn't know what to do about it.

Pigsy is exploring the capital. He tries to pick up a married lady. He meets the Prime Minister and tells him he can help solve his problems since he was Marshal of the Heavenly Host. Monkey and Sandy notice Pigsy is late for lunch. When he finally arrives, resplendant in a uniform, he announces he has been made Captain of the Guard. Monkey and Sandy can't believe it.

Monkey: "It's your neck not mine you fat, flatulent, fake hero".

Pigsy leads a night patrol to find the vampire. The vampire attacks a girl, but it is really Monkey in disguise. The vampire is dressed like a holy priest. It is eventually trapped between Monkey and Pigsy. The vampire is revealed to be Tripitaka! They go back to Tripitaka's bed where they find him fast asleep.

Tripitaka notices something is wrong but they won't tell him anything. They do tell Sandy that they think Tripitaka is the vampire. Sandy thinks they are joking at first but he is soon convinced. He insists Tripitaka was in bed all night.

Lord Chin says Tripitaka should be arrested. Tripitaka overhears them talking about the vampire and denies it is him. Lord Chin tells his guards to arrest Tripitaka. Monkey tells the others not to resist in case they are arrested as well. Only Tripitaka is taken away.

The Queen suggests the buddhist laws are to blame for what has happened with Tripitaka. The Prime Minister wants the King to release Tripitaka but the King says Tripitaka will be executed. He declares that this is no longer a buddhist country. Priests are driven from the land.

Narrator: "Like a thirsty man drinking salty water, desires can never be satisfied - they can be mastered through awakening"

The Prime Minister, Sandy, and Pigsy decide to try and break Tripitaka out of prison. Monkey, disguised as a wasp, overhears them. He decides to teach them a lesson and flies off.

Tripitaka asks for water but is mocked by the guards. Sandy and Pigsy release him, but Lord Chin is wating for them. They fight but the three of them and the Prime Minister are captured. He tells them Monkey was the informer. They can't believe that Monkey betrayed them and now thinks buddhism is bad.

Pigsy: (to Monkey) "May you get a reincarnation as an enormous great smelly camel with three humps"

Monkey declares to Lord Chin that he is anti-buddhist. He also wants to be the state executioner. Lord Chin says his first execution will be that of Tripitaka, Sandy, Pigsy, and the Prime Minister.

Lord Chin meets the Queen. Their bandits are ready to attack. They are both vampires. They fly off in their cloud to meet with the bandits. They rally their troops and promise them the world. Monkey, disguised as a girl, leads one of the bandits outside by telling him their is a star spirit to see him. He hits Lord Chin on the head and says "you've seen stars".

The last buddhists - Tripitaka, Sandy, Pigsy, and the Prime Minister - are to be executed. They are forced to kneel. Monkey appears with a kwon-do. They still can't believe he's a traitor.

Sandy: "Ah, the friend we love, suddenly unrecognisable, becomes a swine"
Pigsy: "I hardly think it's the right insult"

Monkey teases them some more. Lord Chin orders him to kill them. Monkey strikes, releasing the prisoners. He reveals Lord Chin and the Queen as vampires. Monkey asks Sandy and Pigsy to reveal what is under the platform. It is the bandit Monkey captured the previous night. Monkey thinks he should be questioned. Pigsy finally realises Monkey was only pretending. Lord Chin and the Queen reveal their true form. There is another fight.

The land returns to buddhism. The pilgrims leave. Monkey apologises to Sandy and Pigsy for going too far. When he bows to Pigsy, he head-butts Pigsy's nose.

Monkey: (to Pigsy) "You've got a red nose and no sense of humour"

Tripitaka says he knew what Monkey was doing all the time, and threatens Monkey with the sutra when Monkey doesn't believe him. Monkey says Tripitaka is becoming cunning.

Narrator: "Cunning and stupidity may belong together in an ape. A monkey who can recognise both could be on the long road towards humanity"

The pilgrims continue their journey.


* Why did the guards attack Pigsy when he said he was a buddhist? It's likely they thought he was a shape-changer or bandit.

* When Pigsy realises Monkey is still a friend, Monkey kisses him on the lips.

* It is never made clear in the episode (at least not to me) whether Tripitaka was actually a vampire, or whether it was a shapechanger (possibly the Queen or Lord Chin, or even Shan-Lan) disguised as Tripitaka. I tend to think it was a shapechanger, but that doesn't explain how the blood got onto his clothes.

Back to the Monkey Summaries page