"Pigsy Woos a Widow" (Season 1, Episode 8)

[Contributed by ]


Narrator: "What is identity? It's the difference between us. The difference is experienced in the mind. Yet The Buddha said this mind creates the world and this world exists only in the mind and nowhere else."

The pilgrims are walking across the countryside, pass a stone carving of The Buddha in the adjacent mountain. Monkey hears a woman scream, but Sandy thinks that he was hearing the birds again. The voice is heard again. Pigsy begins to follow the voice, but much to his displeasure, Monkey tells him to watch Tripitaka while Sandy and Monkey go and investigate.

Monkey and Sandy see an unconscious girl by a giant tombstone in the field. Monkey wakes her up with his magic. She says that her mistress has just been kidnapped by a bandit. Monkey chases the bandit while Sandy guards the servant girl. Monkey jumps into the air and lands, accosting the bandit (in human form), who is carrying the woman away with a large machete. The bandit drops the woman and purports to be the Demon Spirit of Great Snakes. He clashes with Monkey and sparks fly. Monkey grabs the upper hand and the demon retreats and puts a sword to the terrified woman and threatens to kill her if monkey doesn't retreat. Monkey pulls a hair from his head, puts it in his mouth and spits out a golden bullet, striking the bandit in the right eye. He transforms into a snake and slithers away.

The rescued woman introduces herself as Lee-Yen and thanks Tripitaka and the pilgrims. Pigsy wonders what she was doing in an area plagued by snakes? Lee-Yen says that it was two years since her husband passed away and she was visiting his gravesite. Pigsy begins to hit on to her and starts glorifying himself and his heavenly credentials. When Pigsy suggests that she is interested in him, Sandy retorts, " No, she's wondering who's this fat pig with a big mouth".

Lee-Yen inquires about where Tripitaka and her disciples are going. On hearing that they are going to India, Lee-Yen offers them a few days of rest at her home. The disciples want to have a rest because they are tied, but Tripitaka says that they are in a great hurry. Lee-Yen convinces Tripitaka to stay a night in order to pray for her late husband.

The pilgrims are in Lee-Yen's house in the town. Monkey, Sandy and Pigsy are enjoying their dinner, being served by in a room by the servant girl. The servant girl notes that Lee-Yen is alone in the next room having dinner with Tripitaka, and says that Lee-Yen has fallen for Tripitaka. Pigsy is heartbroken, lamenting that Lee-Yen is wasting herself on a celibate priest. Sandy berates him yet again.

Sandy: "You ought to make your dirty mind up, choose between women and food."
Pigsy: "I'll choose them both."

In the adjoining room, Lee-Yen asks Tripitaka if he must go to India. Tripitaka says that The Lord Buddha ordered here to do so. Lee-Yen says that Tripitaka should just order his disciples to do it for him. She tells Tripitaka that he reminds her of her husband and that she believes that her husband's spirit has entered Tripitaka's body. Lee-Yen asks Tripitaka to marry her, but Tripitaka refuses. Lee-Yen breaks down, crying " How can you save the world, but not help me." Pigsy has been eavesdropping outside the door and becomes irritated.

The next day, at sunrise, the pilgrims leave town, but Pigsy lags behind forlornly. Monkey turns back and asks him what the problem is. Pigsy tells him not to wait for him as he has twisted his right ankle. Monkey distracts Pigsy and hits him in the ankle, but he doesn't respond, and deduces that Pigsy is lovesick. Monkey warns Pigsy that he will only be able to return to heaven if he helps Tripitaka, but Pigsy replies "If they really want me in heaven, why did they put so much temptation down here?". Monkey and Pigsy farewell one another, and Monkey crosses his fingers and casts a spell.

Pigsy returns to the house. Lee-Yen asks him if anything is wrong? Pigsy says no, and asks her if she still wants a wedding day, causing her to believe that Tripitaka was coming back. She says that she will wait all here life for Tripitaka to come back to her. Pigsy tries to tell her to move on, saying that she will be old and ugly by the time Tripitaka may ever come back. The servant girl asks Pigsy what he's doing here, and thinks that Pigsy is looking for job and directs a reluctant Pigsy to the pile of logs for woodcutting.

Tripitaka, Monkey and Sandy are resting by the river. Tripitaka inquires about Pigsy. Sandy says " He's fallen snout over trotters in love with her." Monkey assures Sandy that Pigsy will return, revealing that he had cast a spell on Pigsy, that would turn him into a pig each time he had a lustful thought. Monkey and Sandy laugh. Tripitaka is unpleased.

Back, at the house, Pigsy is carrying a pile of logs, and is imagining that the logs are Lee-Yen and that he is cuddling her.

Narrator: "Desire is a trap. Lustful desire makes pig of people, and slaves of pigs. One single word makes possible all civilization. It's a small word, a magic word, yet it transcends everyone. You must whisper it to yourself - no."

Pigsy hears a splash of water and walks to the window of the bathroom and opens it. He stares at Lee-Yen's bare back and begins lusting, smoke comes out of his ears, his snout transforms, and then his full body. Lee-Yen suspects a peeping-tom and the servant comes around and chases the pig into the village fields, connecting a couple of times to his buttocks in the process.

Pigsy returns to his human state and decides that he will transform himself into Tripitaka. He returns to Lee-Yen's house, with the Pigsy voice. He makes a whole pile of lustful comments regaring her body as Lee-Yen, who can't believe her eyes, greets him. Pigsy says "I'm here to marry you" and "to hell with scriptures" as he bends over to embrace her, snorting a couple of times for good measure. When the servant asks him what is wrong with his voice, he says it is because he has been continually crying about Lee-Yen and it went hoarse when he caught a cold.

Lee-Yen is playing a stringed instrument for Tripitaka's pleasure, as Pigsy stuffs himself in a very slobbery manner, licking his fingers, eating leafy, saucy vegetables with his bare fingers and cackling about his good fortune. Monkey appears as a wasp and lambasts Pigsy for daring to impersonate Tripitaka and they start arguing, Monkey warning Pigsy that his disguise will drop the moment he has a lustful thought. Lee-Yen asks what Tripitaka is doing talking to himself and then wonders if it really is Tripitaka. The servant comes in swats the wasp. The wasp hobbles outside, knocked unconscious.

Tripitaka and Sandy are sitting under a tree in the forest at night, somewhat lost. Sandy thinks Monkey too has abandoned the pilgrimage and he begins remonstrating with Tripitaka about the pilgrimage, saying that The Buddha should have just given Tripitaka the scriptures. Tripitaka lectures Sandy about Buddhism and he counters by saying that spirits like him can't understand the scriptures. A snake crawls about the weeds. A mysterious man with a blind patch over his right eye bearing a lantern turns up and offers Tripitaka accomodation at his home while Monkey returns. Sandy accepts and leads Tripitaka into disaster.

Narrator: " The wicked go to the hells, the good go to the heavens, and the neither live nor ever die. But those hit on the head tend to fall unconscious. Monkey has lost his memory."

We see Monkey lying in the grass, transformed into a full Monkey suit with full body fur, paws and claws, unaware of what is going on. A group of village children turn up and kick him. The villagers put Monkey in a cage and enjoy his entertainment and poke him with sticks. Monkey has lost his powers, doesn't know who he is and has lost his memory.

Narrator: "With the charity of ignorant people towards the different and helpless, they stuck Monkey in a cage. He entertained him willy-nilly and free entertainment is not to be disguised."

Pigsy asks Lee-Yen to marry him. Lee-Yen wants to reconsider, believing that it is not the real Tripitaka, locking Pigsy out of her room. Pigsy panics and starts banging on the door, and makes a hole in the door, much to the horror of Lee-Yen, showing Pigsy's trotter. The servant chases Pigsy away and the villagers catch him this time, and string him up for a pork barbeque.

Tripitaka and Sandy are back at the snake's lair, all tied up, with the Demon Spirit of Great Snakes in a demon form. The demon is gloating over his success and swears to have vengeance on Monkey, saying that he wants to eat Monkey's eyes. He asks Sandy and Tripitaka where Monkey is, and starts teleporting round the room, then plucking a flower and turning them into a few writhing pythons, crawling all over Sandy and Tripitaka. Sandy blunders and tells Tripitaka to keep quiet about the headache sutra. The snake demon sits in a The Buddha's meditation pose and begins to hypnotize Sandy and Tripitaka, who starts to mumble the Headache Sutra, while growing ever more drowsy.

Back in the village, the villagers have abandoned Monkey's cage to grab their share of the free pork (Pigsy). Monkey is brought back to his senses by the Headache Sutra, pulls his wishing staff out of his ear, knocks the enclosure and hops on his cloud, flying back the snake's lair, outside the Buddha statue at the beginning of the episode. The Snake demon comes out to challenge monkey and jumps off the cliff, boasting that Sandy and Tripitaka are already dead. They fight. Monkey pulls a hair from his chest and gets his monkey army to attack the snake. Monkey knocks the Snake demon's machete out of his hand and then the snake demon flies off, Monkey using his wishing staff as a javelin to bring them down. Monkey and the Snake demon fall into a giant ornamental terracotta pot and they grapple and fight barefisted. Suddenly, there is a green frazzle of water and the pot cracks and blows up. Monkey emerges upright against a red backdrop as an animated green line rises into the sky and disintegrates.

Monkey rushes into the cave and uses magic to resuscitate Sandy and Tripitaka. The trio are happily reunited. They discuss Pigsy, and Monkey remembers that he is still in the village, jumps on the cloud and flies back to the village, where he sees a pig dangling upside down over a fire. Monkey spins his cloud around and causes rain to fall, extinguishing the fire. When the villages emerge from the rain shelter, the pig is gone. Monkey flies back to Tripitaka with a sooty Pigsy dangling off the end.

Pigsy and Monkey apologize to one another about causing each other life-threatening trouble. The pilgrims continue on their journey. Sandy comments "Even Buddha can't imagine that eels have Buddha nature."

Narrator: "Note everyone can say that they are gods. But The Buddha himself said that everyone has Buddha nature,if they can but realize it."

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