"The Minx and the Slug" (Season 1, Episode 13)

[Contributed by Chris Hadgis (chrish@mincom.com)]


The pilgrims are staying with a village headman. He and his wife are grieving because they think their daughter has been kidnapped. A year ago she was sent to the hills of Mar to pray but she never made it and has not returned. They know she is still alive. People who have gone looking for her have heard her singing. Those men who have followed her voice have disappeared too. Tripitaka wants his disciples to go but they don't want to and argue with him. They even go so far as to quote Buddha out of context. The father says they will give their daughter's hand in marriage to whoever brings her back. Pigsy is intrigued by this and asks if she is beautiful.

"I'm only asking before I rescue someone who looks like a crow's armpit" [Pigsy]

Pigsy wants to rescue her for his own reasons. He thinks he should be the one to go because he is the most handsome. Monkey, Sandy, and Pigsy trade insults until Tripitaka puts a stop to it. He says Pigsy will go. After saying he is in urgent need of his beauty sleep and taking a plate of food, he goes to bed. Monkey confides to the father that Pigsy is harmless and that he will go instead. Sandy declares to no-one in particular that he is the most handsome.

Pigsy is out looking for the girl, imagining how wonderful it will be when he rescues her. He isn't looking where he is going and slips on a wet rock, injuring his nose.

Tripitaka is worried about Pigsy. Sandy is still upset about Pigsy's personal remarks from the previous evening.

"He'll never be all right. He was born pig ignorant" [Monkey]

Sandy thinks Tripitaka will ask him and Monkey to go looking for Pigsy. Of course, he does.

Pigsy is still searching. He sees a monster washing clothes in the river. He turns his muck rake into an umbrella and jumps down to the river, just like Mary Poppins! After trading insults, he fights the slug monster.

"Even slug monsters can't spit at the sight of me with impunity" [Pigsy]

"I've crawled all over the world, but you are the ugliest pig of all" [Slug Monster]

The slug coccoons Pigsy. Pigsy tells him that he his here to rescue the girl. The slug says he can have her and releases him. Pigsy is happy with this. The slug warns Pigsy that Hai-Min only likes handsome men.

"You are truly ugly, forgive the rudeness. You are ... you're absolutely revolting. Deformed. Repellent" [Slug Monster]

Pigsy has an idea - he disguises himself as the slug. Unfortunately, his injured nose remains the same. He returns to Hai-Min, where he is well received. She says her hip is sore and gets Pigsy to rub it for her. She becomes suspicious because of his rough massage and strange voice. She asks him where he was and he tells her he was washing her clothes. She becomes angry when he tells her he has forgotten them and makes him go back to get them.

He returns to the river and collects the clothes, accidentally ripping one of her dresses.

"Oh, that's torn it" [Pigsy]

She is furious with him, and punishes him by making him grind rice all night. He tries to refuse, but she threatens him with salt - if it is sprinkled on a slug, it will die.

Monkey and Sandy are looking for Pigsy. They find his muckrake and think he is dead. Monkey gets it to point to Pigsy and they follow it. They arrive at the cave and find Pigsy, still disguised as the slug, sleeping. Monkey, wielding his staff like a pool cue, pokes Pigsy in the head. Pigsy tries to convince them who he really is, but they accuse "the slug" of killing Pigsy and start fighting. Hai-Min comes out. Monkey says they are here to rescue her. Pigsy runs into the cave and Hai-Min blocks the entrance. Monkey tickles her and they get by.

Pigsy has changed back to his normal form, but his clothes are still those of he slug. He tries to convince Monkey of his identity. Monkey thinks it is a trick. Hai-Min comes in and sees Pigsy's true face. She and Monkey argue about who Pigsy is until she decides to sprinkle salt on him. Eventually Sandy realises that it is Pigsy. Hai-Min wants to know what became of her husband, the slug, and is told that he left her. She is upset because she loves him. Sandy wants her to return with them but she doesn't want to. Monkey tells her to stay in the cave. They are about to leave when she reminds them to take Pigsy. Monkey looks at Sandy and mutters "oh, good try".

Back at the village, Tripitaka is upset because he thinks they left Hai-Min with the slug. Neither he nor Hai-Min's parents believe she wanted to stay with a 'disgusting monster'. Sandy reminds Tripitaka that they - the disciples - were monsters once and argues Buddhist philosophy with him. Tripitaka realises he was wrong to call the monster disgusting. Hai-Min's parents want Monkey to bring her back, but he refuses until Tripitaka threatens him with the headache sutra.

Monkey is angry with Tripitaka and calls him sneaky. He accuses Sandy of going soft when Sandy says he likes Tripitaka for admitting he was wrong. They return to Hai-Min's cave and find she is gone.

Monkey: (sarcastically) You're very quick.
Sandy : Thank-you. I always was.

Monkey flies off to look for her. He sees a tent, the slug, and a baby. The slug is preparing lunch when Hai-Min sees him and notices the baby.

Hai-Min: Where did you get a little slug?
Slug : It's a long story.
Hai-Min: It would have to be. He's quite old.

Hai-Min: I always knew you were a philandering worm.
Slug : Slug, actually.

During the argument, the slug's wife and two more children come out of the tent. Hai-Min thinks it's his mother. The wife accuses her of being a hussy. They argue some more until Hai-Min produces some salt. The slugs run and hide as the tent shrinks.

Monkey arrives and grabs Hai-Min. His cloud turns into a bell and falls on Hai-Min, trapping her. Monkey tells her to calm down. He warns the slug to leave the humans alone. The slug is glad to be back with his wife. He says humans are beastly. Sandy arrives and tries to convince Hai-Min to be reasonable and give up the slug.

Some of the villagers are carrying Pigsy to Hai-Min's cave.

"There are no chains like hate, said the Buddha, no flame like passion. Desire is a raging torrent and illusion is the net." [Narrator]

The villagers scatter when they hear bandits approaching. It is really Monkey and Sandy, carrying Hai-Min in a net. The village headman thinks the disciples are all in an elaborate plot to kidnap his daughter. Pigsy comes to the conclusion that Monkey and Sandy are really slug monsters in disguise. Pigsy and the villagers attack them while the headman rescues Hai-Min. Monkey and Sandy are knocked down and Pigsy orders the villagers to pour salt on them. One villager puts some on Pigsy! Hai-Min tells her father she has decided to give up the slug. By this time, Monkey and Sandy are sitting in big piles of salt. Pigsy realizes he has made a mistake.

"Oh help. I am an idiot" [Pigsy]

Monkey and Sandy are recovering from the salt. They are still mad with Pigsy.

"You can often improve on ignorance but stupidity is incurable" [Sandy]

Hai-Min has changed her mind and wants to go back to the slug. Her father wants Tripitaka to talk to her. Tripitaka prays for her all through the night as Hai-Min kneels opposite him.

Hai-Min no longer wants the slug monster, but has fallen in love with Tripitaka! He reminds her of his vows and tries to get away from her but she is relentless. Eventually he escapes from her. Tripitaka wakes the others and tells them they are leaving immediately. He sees Hai-Min coming and rides away, leaving the others to follow. Hai-Min is still pursuing Tripitaka. Monkey makes a Tripitaka scare-crow, which is enough to fool Hai-Min.

The pilgrims continue their journey.


* During their first argument, it looks like Monkey gives Pigsy the "victory salute".

* Pigsy turns his muckrake into a staff and takes it with him when he turns into the slug. However, Monkey and Sandy find the muckrake by the river.

* When they are sprinkling salt on Pigsy, Monkey shoves some into Pigsy's mouth and Pigsy eats it.

* When Hai-Min is upset, Monkey asks if this is love. It appears he has forgottten Min-Mei (season 1, episode 11).

* Sandy shows his wisdom once again.

* There is another lovely song as Tripitaka prays for Hai-Min.

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